Not helpful

Today, I said no.  That was something I did right, because setting boundaries and holding them is something I have a huge problem with.  In addition, telling them no was the right thing to do because I wasn’t really competent to say yes, in the professional sense of giving answers to questions presented.

Today, I told someone at work who came to me for help that what they wanted (immigration and green card assistance for their wife, specifically, logging in to create an online account and then paying for things) was something that I wasn’t comfortable with, and that they needed to either do it themselves or use one of these (*insert montage of me googling & printing*) several immigration-specific resources outside the store who know all about this kind of thing.

And then I said no, again, and again, and again, because he was arguing with me about why I wouldn’t do it even when I said “I’m sorry, this isn’t something I’m trained to do, here are some places that have people who are, I could really mess something up and I am not going to do this for you.”  He was really unhappy with me, but I’m an HR manager– not a social worker– and one of the larger systemic problems at this store is kind of a nanny-state issue where people wander in to my office and ask me to wipe their noses for them.  The pushback when I refuse is really amazing.  Petulant, too.

(I also managed not to laugh in the face of the person who said– “Someone told me I have to file taxes?  Is that really true?”  When I assured him that indeed, he did have that obligation, and that he could in fact pay a sizeable fine if he did not, and that this was why, in fact, I had chased him to file new withholding certificates, he was in awe of the idea that he had, you know, duties as a citizen and an adult.  I think I was too baffled in the moment by “where does he think the money goes if not into returns?” to laugh, but still.  I am counting it as a thing I did right.)

 

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3 thoughts on “Not helpful

  1. Dawn

    Thumbs up–on both counts!

    (I read a lot of those bad-human-being stories, whether it be customers, management, co-workers, or students, and the sheer stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me. Occasionally makes me lose all hope for humanity along the way. So your 2nd person doesn’t surprise me as much as it should…and I really hope that if you told him this on 4/14 that he found someone who could help him file an extension.)

    Reply
    1. She Curmudgeon Post author

      I did tell him to get to the library next door on his break to pick up forms and to download an extension form from the IRS website. He wanted me to do it for him & I said no, this was part of his figuring it out for himself. We’ll see.

      Reply

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