Things to be thankful for…

1.    Today’s poem at the Writer’s Almanac, Regret by Louise Jenkins.  Giving up on regret and anger are great gifts to remind myself to try to do, daily.

2.   That I have a great retail job where I mostly don’t have to deal with customers except right around this time of year, and even when I do, it’s with well-paid coworkers with great attitudes, so when the customers have meltdowns over insignificant stuff, it rolls off our backs and we’re able to laugh.

3.  That I have too much to do at work but I’m paid for all of it and paid well, overtime, too, which is a compliment, because being asked to cover extra stores on top of my own and being able to do it is a testament to my coworkers’ belief in my skills and my ability to manage my stress and depression and anxiety.   That I feel a little bit of a victorious inner “fuck you” toward people I no longer associate with who told me that I was generally not capable and probably prone to all-over collapse (I only exaggerate just a bit) after my big fat nervous post-lawyer breakdown and who generally acted like my depression and anxiety was the end of my life except when they wanted something from me?  Well, yeah.  Fuck them.

4.  That I have already booked myself a long weekend off, away, all by myself, right after Annual Enrollment is over, for a little R & R and self-care.

5.  That my father’s newly diagnosed congestive heart failure and low-salt diet with all its attendant restrictions and fatigue still mean that he’s around to complain that he misses the salt.

6.  That I have real work to do, that yields real results, and doesn’t just put more stuff out there in the world.  I got someone their health insurance back this month.  And helped someone else secure a mortgage.

7.  That even though check-ins have been harried and infrequent because everyone’s busy, I have great friends and family who have cared enough to check in.

8.  That I seemed to have kicked the flu, finally.  (Small graces.)

9.  That yeah, it was damned painful, but I shed some painful and/or unhelpful relationships these last two months, and while it’s going to stink to go out and find new ones because I’m a total introvert and I don’t do trust well, at least I don’t have to deal with the doubt I felt as a result of interacting with those folks anymore.

10.  That I have a nice, small meal to prepare today that will, I hope, be tasty, and allow me some creative time in the kitchen– even without the salt.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

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