Smiling through Christmas in June (and other off seasons)

Some days (rainy days and Sundays, they always get me down pump up the sales volume), they roll up the cranky busloads in thousands, and there’s nothing at all you can do but grit your teeth and forbear the waves of stupid questions, nosy questions, bad flirting, even more bad flirting even after you say sorry-not-interested-no-it’s-none-of-their-business-if-you’re-single-or-not, and then there’s the people interrupting you while you’re carrying your food back to the break room or a till full of money and they offer to hold it for you while you go get them their book.

On those days, all you can do is smile and tell them you’ll call for more help at customer service or say you can’t hand over the till and/or you’re sorry, but you’re on your break  and you’re sure they wouldn’t want you to violate state wage and hour laws; or it’s always bad when your competitor goes out of business and you feel sorry for the folks soon to be unemployed ten miles up the road whose big box is closing their doors; you smile whether or not the customer’s got a sneer on their face and keeps sneering at you about the cost of your store’s membership fee; they hate emails cluttering up their inbox; they interrupt you before you can get out all the questions you’re required to ask and are too busy talking on their phones to notice you’ve handed them back their cards and their receipts…

The fact is, I’m not holding a gun to your head to make you shop here versus the other chain that’s closing lots of stores or our website, which yes, does have cheaper prices but no, doesn’t have a search engine query for “Blue Book With a Dog On It” (i.e. this one).  Don’t buy the membership if you don’t want it, really, I just have to ask, but please, stop ranting at me about how “evil” (I truly quote) my company is to charge for the privilege of an annual discount for volume book buyers (if you can’t do the math, don’t buy the card, it’s that easy, I promise), when lots of other people do like the program and when I can see perfectly well from your wallet that you paid to join BJ’s.

Just move on and get out of my line, and also your coupon’s expired, so no, I’m not going to apply it because guess what, I can read and I’m not a moron, and yes, I gave you your credit card back because contrary to your opinion, most people aren’t thieves and you might not remember, but you just offered to hold my till full of money twenty minutes ago because you couldn’t wait two more minutes for the one person in line ahead of you at the desk to be done and I’m sure you never would have even lifted the lid even once when I was off looking for that Twilight book you just bought.

Thank goodness for macros.  And to bookseller friend L., who showed me the site in the first place.  Because too many customers think they are Courage Wolf:

(I know.  Two bookstore posts in a row.  Geez, you’d think I worked there full time or something ridiculous like that.  : ) )


2 thoughts on “Smiling through Christmas in June (and other off seasons)

  1. Mrs. G.

    “Blue Book With a Dog On It”…you should be making more money for that kind of smarts. Have you gotten, “Are you familiar with Stephen King?” yet?


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