Sunday night the Better Half and I went to the movies and realized that we are now those people we used to mock as we sat making out with our high school dates, snarfling popcorn and candy like calories were irrelevant and otherwise living adolescent, ego-centric lives. Not so now.
We got off the subway and came up to street level and made our first and most important stop: the CVS, home of cheaper soda, candy and nuts than the movies. Eleven bucks yielded diet soda, San Pellegrino, Milk Duds, Peanut M & Ms (i.e., the world’s most nutritionally complete candy) and a bag of (shelled) pistachios. That same money would just earn you the right to order in the theater. Food shopping accomplished, I stuffed these healthy snacks into my purse so that the folks at the theater would not send me away for bringing somewhat affordable food inside.
Next, we purchased our tickets and proceeded to our assigned theater. Along the way, I became Extremely Antsy and just managed to stifle the following inner tirade: “What’s wrong with this stupid teenager in front of me? He’s on his phone, weaving like he’s drunk in pants hanging off his ass and it’s impossible to go around him, he’s so unpredictable and IF I DON’T GET A GOOD SEAT BECAUSE OF HIM I AM GOING TO BE MAD.” Ahem. So, yeah, I kept that part quiet. (You’re welcome, sweetheart.)
Then, seats found, we discussed various items of international political import while ignoring the TWENTY MINUTES of ads and product placements and web-only trailer promotions before we even got to the actual previews, during which there were more ads. I did declare it then and declare it so now– the stuff on that screen before the actual movie shall henceforth be known as TrailerTrash.
And then the movie came– we laughed, I got weepy at one point, and we both had a grand old time right through the end. Including the end of the credits. All of them. We were the last ones in the theater while the cleanup crew hugged the walls wanting to know why the hell we cared about Foley Artists. (We just do, alright?)
So yeah– we are food-smuggling, credit-watching, trailer-ignoring cranky old people. We didn’t even kick the back of anyone’s seat. What’s up with THAT?
(We saw Star Trek. It was really, really, really fun, and the Kirk/Spock dynamic was really well done. I knew I was always a Trekkie, but I didn’t think I was that much of a geek until I caught myself waiting for them to trot out every character’s catch phrase or mannerism. At least I didn’t whine that the dimensions of the “Real” Enterprise were much smaller than the ones in the movie. *Cough* Better Half *Cough*.)