Mixed state (inner) monologue

Yesterday morning on my way in to work…

Oh my God, WHY is it taking so long for this line to get to the front? All I want is a dozen doughnuts!  I swear they’re conspiring against me.  This always happens!  I hate this, I am never shopping here again, I should totally leave.  But I didn’t bake that coffee cake and it might be our last day so I have to bring something in.  I’m the Mom.  If I don’t bring something in, I am a bad Mom.  And after yelling at a few of the kids to work more, YouTube less, I have to! OMG this is taking so f*ing long!  WTF!?! “Yes, hi, a dozen doughnuts, please.”


OMG why are you two cashiers talking to each other instead of taking orders as quickly as possible? Can’t you tell it’s lunch time? My blood sugar is low and I have a headache and I just want my stupid sandwich rung up so I can go outside and eat in the YET AGAIN FREEZING COLD OMG I HATE NEW ENGLAND Al Gore was basically right but the ice age is ALREADY here and I AM NEVER GOING TO SEE ROSES AND BEACHPLUMS AGAIN and “no, no carrots or chips, just the sandwich.”  I should have gotten the carrots.

Later at the parking garage…

Where are my keys, where’s my parking slip, why can’t I find anything, even when I TRY to put it in the right place I can still never find it, even if I made myself the Tote of a Thousand Pockets I would still forget where stuff is, damned memory, damned medications that make it worse, I’m so stupid I can’t even remember where I put my damned keys EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE RIGHT WHERE THEY OUGHT TO BE AND I LOOKED THERE ALREADY I swear to God, I’m just going to get piercings and attach everything to my body, “Hi, here’s my ticket.  ATM, not credit card, please.”

Later driving home …

WHY do they always DOUBLE PARK in the South End during rush hour?  Damned yuppies live a half block away but God forbid they actually go home to their paid-for-parking space and then WALK back to pick up supper that they’ve called in on their CELL PHONES which made them WEAVE IN FRONT OF ME WHILE DRIVING and NOT USE THEIR TURN SIGNAL and otherwise drive like a MORON.  C’mon people, Country Style Pad Thai tastes better for a bit of a walk to pick it up, and don’t you know that leaving your black SUV IDLING WHILE DOUBLE PARKED WITH THE HAZARDS ON means it will NEVER BE SPRING AND I WILL DIE IN DARKNESS?

So then I called my old life coach (Becky Castro of I Love Monday Mornings, she’s wonderful and brings new meaning to the phrase “lends a new perspective”) and had a wonderful conversation and cheered right up and was able to be helpful to her while getting what feels like undeserved praise for my own current situation and reminded myself that all I needed to do when I am feeling medication-mixed is to call someone who will cheer me up.

And then I stopped for ice cream and twinkies at the grocery store.  Because Ice Cream is a mild but quick-acting a mood stabilizer.  (Based on a scientifically rigorous sample of one.)  What, you didn’t know that?  Hie thee hence to your grocer’s freezer aisle, posthaste!


15 thoughts on “Mixed state (inner) monologue

  1. Jenn @ Juggling Life

    Ice cream is a mild but quick acting mood stabilizer–you know I think that’s true. I’m the only one in my family tbhat doesn’t have a bowl after dinner and they’re definitely all mellower than me.

  2. CTJen

    I’ve had similar, albeit less intense, inner monologues. But since I have ADD, they usually go something like “WTF?! That a$$hat just f’ing cut in front of me! Hey, look! Ducks! OMG, did you see that LOL the other day where the duck was stuck on the curb? That was so funny. I really should pick up some duct tape on my way home. Where’d I put my keys?”

    Hope the ice cream did you right. 🙂

  3. Michelle

    Sometimes when I have days like that the only solution is hiding out in my bed. You are incredibly smart for going for the ice cream and twinkies instead!

  4. Mariposa

    Sugar or sweets I should acts a quick mood stabilizer to me…until I overate marshmallows and I had sugar blues and rushes…well, I ate ALOT, that’s why!

    Reading this post is like doing one of my monologues…I so heard you heard…

    I hope the ice cream and twinkies did the job for you…

    Sending happy thoughts and LOTS of (((HUGS)))

    Have a nice weekend!

  5. Mary Ann

    And suddenly I am reminded why I live oh so very very close to work. Work with a cafeteria where the line is never more than 4 people long. And parking requires no tickets. And the weather is rainy, but warm. Even in the parking lot.

  6. Susan Carlin

    Oh! I just want to set you at the head of our table and let Karen entertain you with stories of her students and silly dogs while I work the knots out of your shoulders. We’ll turn a little James Taylor on so he can sing that you’ve got a friend then we’ll pull the roast out of the oven and tuck a napkin in your lap. You’ll feel better in no time.

  7. Carol

    *lol* I try to avoid feeling like this, else my blood pressure would go through the roof…. Hence I do my Christmas shopping in October/November 🙂


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