Though I have never given birth

Though I have never given birth
I am a mother.
Mother to friends,
to family, to strangers
needing smiles on the street.

I know you’d never tell
an adopting mom
that her loving heart for the
child of her choosing
doesn’t count.

So please don’t confuse
the childlessness under my roof
with the absence of maternal spirit.
Ask anyone who ever sat at my table
if I don’t cook “just like mom,” or better.

I choose a different kind of
motherhood. One that lets me
take you out for drinks when
you’ve had a hard day, and who
tells you raunchy jokes to make you laugh.

I’m a mom who chooses her children
after they’re grown, when the world
says a mother’s no longer needed.
Nonsense. The mom you’re not supposed to need,
is sometimes the one you need the most.

Redefine motherhood, one expectation at a time.
One whiskey soda at a time.
One midday call, while hiding under your desk
at a time.  We can’t always be our own,
but we can volunteer, to be each others’ mothers.


23 thoughts on “Though I have never given birth

  1. Emily

    I’m not exactly young enough, but anytime you want to be my adoptive mom is fine with me. You can never have too many mommies, regardless of their ages relative to you.

  2. Morgy

    BLC — I have a Book Club called “Ants and Mums”. The name is derived from the idea that every woman is either and aunt or a mom, and many are both, even if they are neither by biology. We all must take care of one another.

  3. Janet

    dude…you made me shed a tear…

    Do you know one of my (ex) friends once said to me: You’re not a mother, so you wouldn’t understand.



  4. Jennic

    We each have our own decisions to make in life, and they are solely our own, and should be without judgment from others. After all, you are the one living your life, not them.

    A great poem and insightful.

  5. cathy

    I love this, too, and you are so smart to affirm the ways you nurture others.

    We all need mothers. Good moms. Especially fun moms who cook well and can tell raunchy jokes.


  6. Anali

    This is such a beautiful poem and post! It makes me want to cry. Thanks for being such a good “mom” to me when you brought me sunflowers when I was feeling blue. : )

  7. mike golch

    this is just a loveing show that you have a careing heart and that my friend is what is seriously lacking in this world today.
    Jen@juggling life,you are not alone my blogging friend.I know what it is like to lose your Mother to cancer,my Mom had ling cancer and a month after she was dianogsed she passed away in Sept 2003, I really miss her still.

  8. Mariposa

    Beautiful! Very beautiful…I’m going on a “sharing” this weekend, can I have the permission to read this there?

    It’s a gathering of young women…wanting to be Moms. 🙂


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