Dear Court Reporter:

I know you’re busy, running a business with lots of other court reporters to coordinate, but the reason that my assistant sends you an email with a list of the next week’s appointments with day, time, case number, and location, is so that I can send you a quick email that says “Tomorrow morning’s appointment is off” without my needing to have to check my calendar and spell it all out for you, ALL OVER AGAIN. It’s called a f*cking reference sheet for a reason. So you can REFER BACK TO IT.

So please, don’t send me a snippy email when I re-send you the reference email with a “See below.” I am paying for your services, and as you’ve already found out, if you f*ck me over because you can’t read the f*cking clear as day reference sheet, I will call someone else, rather than wait for you or one of your reporters to show up. And, um, don’t go complaining to my boss again, either. He won’t side with you this time, either, and he may just well send YOU the bill for the replacement court reporter.

Love and kisses,

A very bitchy, cranky lawyer.

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10 thoughts on “Dear Court Reporter:

  1. Sarene

    Good for you! Wow, you have no idea how many of those kinds of e-mails/letters I have written but never sent. Usually to loved ones 🙂

    Reply
  2. standing still for once

    Hi. I found you through Derfwad Manor. Although not a lawyer (though I could play one on TV), I’m manic-depressive [with the family pedigree to prove it], an artist, a mom, and a liberal. I hope you’ll visit me. I enjoyed reading your blog. I’m going to RSS feed it and keep reading.

    Reply
  3. BipolarLawyerCook

    Oh, Sarene, I couldn’t ever actually send something like this. Thank goodness for the anonymous venting power of the internet.Standing Still, thanks for stopping by! Looking forward to checking out your adventures as well…

    Reply
  4. Sarene

    Oh I NEVER thought you would ever SEND something like this (I’m not that dumb!). I hope you didn’t misunderstand me. That’s why writing these things are so theraputic…at least you get it out of your system.

    Reply
  5. alejna

    I hear you. It makes me so terribly cranky when people don’t read my emails, or forget that they have read my emails, or say that they never saw my emails, when they’d actually responded to it. I have to fight the temptation to print up the lot of the the history, and present the stack to the alleged non-recipients as “exhibit A.”

    Reply
  6. J Morgetron

    Feel better?I could send this email to many students, parents, and colleagues. It would just take a quick change of a few key words.-J

    Reply
  7. Anonymous

    as a court reporter i can tell you that considering how many lawyers don’t pay for transcripts and expect us to pump them out of our assholes immediately upon request, you need to walk a mile..get it?

    Reply
  8. BipolarLawyerCook

    Anonymous, it’s too bad you didn’t leave an email, since I’d love to have a dialogue with you about it. Please feel free to email me.

    Reply

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